October 17/17 The journey continues

Wow, how times goes. My lovely grandson Ethan was born June 25/17 and I was blessed to be able to deliver him into the world and place him on my daughters check. I was weeping with love and gratitude when this happened. There are no words to describe the love and truth that I felt.

There were some challenging situations that we had to navigate through her labour, delivery and postpartum period. It was personally stressful and heartbreaking to know my eldest daughter was disappointed by an important person in her life while in such a vulnerable time, over and over.  She showed great inner strength and resilience. I must remember that she is absolutely surrounded by many many people who love and support her.
She is a great Momma and Ethan is a special child. My Mother came to me in a meditation 4 years ago and said she would come back as my daughters child. She said she did not learn to express during her time on earth and Racheal would be her greatest teacher. All I know for sure is this child is a soulmate and he is very very familiar to me. The love I feel is unconditional and intense.The love between him and his Momma is undeniable.

Other then that I have been off on leave from the shelter since July to be able to be available to assist when needed.
Many lessons are coming to me very quickly. Life is beautiful.

Me delivering Ethan

Shiny, happy people having fun-June 4, 2017

I cannot believe I have not written since October. So many things have changed but, yet some much is unchanged. My dear friend Jacqueline was my friend and peer at the shelter I work at, died suddenly December 28, 2016. We assume it was a massive heart attack, she died in her sleep. I miss my friend very much and I think about her often still. I know as I get older, I will be faced with death more frequently.
At the same time I have life all around me. My daughter Racheal is due to give birth to her first child this month. We celebrated this new child yesterday with a baby shower/party with family and friends. 
It was such a blessing to co-host with my first husband and his partner at their home. I never understand when parents separate, how they cannot put the needs of their children first an d do their best to be amicable at least. My sister and her first husband were a power of example when they separated, they remained friends and still get together with their spouses. I knew that this is the way I wanted to exist and for many reasons it took a few years to get to this point but the past decade has been healthy and for the most part enjoyable. We are different people and different lifestyles but, I know that when you have spent many years together and shared five children, there was lots of love. Where does the love go? I know love doesn't disappear it just shifts and reshapes but, it's there. I am very fortunate that my partner and love is open minded, secure in our relationship and has always been able to know that it's best for the children to have this open and cohesive parenting and he is happy to be part of this big extended family that originated with me and my first husband and he and many others have joined in along the way. Our son, instead of being left out of family functions with all his brothers and sisters, is included and part of. Taking the high road and remembering the love instead of the resentments is better for everyone. I wish joy, love and abundance for him and his partner.
Now my life has been very busy, I am still in that new job and have been working 35 plus hours at the shelter. 65 hours a week has become the norm, and that needs to change. I am considering my options. I am trying to watch for signs and where I'm being divinely led and I believe I'm on the right path. I'm putting some things out there and being patient as possible. I trust that my divine creator will guide me to where I am suppose to be, if I listen and trust.

Racheal with me and my brother and sister

Daughter Sam granddaughter Lydi and niece McKenna having fun

Me, my brother Dale my children's step mom Pam and my sister Linda

My first husband Ken, brother Dale and brother in law Mike

The Journey-October 31, 2016

Halloween today and it's been a challenging week. So many things to be grateful for. I started a new job In September that is wonderful in many ways. I had to let one of my other jobs go. That is what life is all about, juggling demands, making decisions, facing obstacles and feeling it all pain and joy.

Today is a little more challenging for me in a few ways. I have been working lots of hours and I'm a week into my first cold in two years, so physically I'm tired. People close to me have some big and difficult decisions to make. I can only support their decisions and be there but, I am sensitive to energy and sometimes feel more then I know is healthy for me.

I always believe that if I do the right things and work hard that things will work out. Well, I realize that what I thought about that belief was I believed it was what I thought should happen was want I expected and sometimes the divine has other plans.

It's a New Moon today, so I'm going to put some things out that I want to manifest and know that I'm going to get through this and be back to my optimistic and positive self very soon.