I had to write a short journal entry for a class about an important friendship that I have had, so here it is.
An important friendship in my life is one with my sister Linda. There is an age difference of seven years between the two of us and there was no type of friendship until we were around 18 and 25 years old. Even then, it was not what I would consider a close relationship.
My definition of a close friendship with a person is that you are willing to share any problem with them, be completely honest and know that they will not judge you. It is always a reciprocal relationship. Conflicts are discussed openly and resolved without fearing a loss of the friendship. My close friendships are people that accept me the way I am, imperfections and all, and I feel the same way about them.
My definition of a close friendship has changed over the years. 25 years ago, my definition was less intense. I expected less from people, mainly because I was afraid they could not live up to my expectation and I usually got what I expected. I pretended to be something I was not and I never let my guard down. Therefore, I did not attract people that were any different than I acted. I had many superficial friendships and felt that I had such intense feelings that nobody could understand or accept if they ever knew the real me. Thank goodness, I was wrong about that. It was just my stinking thinking once again.
Linda and I kept in touch and were both busy living our "important" lives however; we both hit a wall of crisis within a few years of each other. About 15 years ago I went through turmoil and change in my life. And, due to the fact I had never allowed people to see the real me, when the "real me" came out, it was surprising, shocking and also mixed with relief. Working through my program of recovery, I got honest with others, made amends to those that I needed to, which included her and started to live an authentic life. My inner and out self were finally beginning to match. Perhaps it acted as a catharsis for my sister or perhaps it was just her time for change as well. She started to make some meaningful life changes that included removing unhealthy things and people from her life and adding some healthy things. We moved forward together sharing a common goal of healing and healthy living. She threw herself into yoga and meditation and I threw myself into a self-help program. Although it may sound like we were pursuing very different things, it felt common to us. The means may have been different, but the result we were pursuing was similar. We both aspired to have joyful, mindful lives while enjoying superior emotional, mental and physical health. This does not mean that we have always been successful with this. We have experienced some low points, such as the death of our father, divorce and many other things. The difference is we always call each other to share our troubles honestly and often there is no solution, but we know the other is there to listen and be fully present in the moment. She teaches me so much about myself and I hope I am able to do the same for her. She is fearless in her pursuit of her dreams and inspires me with her courage.
My sister and I were finally in a position in our lives to take a trip together last summer. We went to Nelson, British Columbia and spent a week at a fabulous hostel with no plans for the day except waking up and deciding what we wanted to do with the day. Usually it was something we both wanted to do, sometimes it was nothing, sometimes it was different from the other, and always it was ok. Every night we could be found on the big white porch of the White House backpacker’s hostel drinking peppermint tea and talking and laughing, lots of laughing.
We are very different people Linda and I, but we now accept each other unconditionally and value the differences we have. We have the ability to have a misunderstanding or disagreement, address it, and then move on. Our relationship has gone through so many stages and changes that have tested our patience and commitment. I believe it only makes our relationship special and ultimately stronger in the end.
Our husbands are supportive and understanding of our independant spirits and we are very lucky to have them in our lives.
We talk about being old women and travelling the world together.
I cannot think of anyone else I would rather do this with than my sister Linda.
I remember how excited I was to become a mother at the tender age of 18. He was and is such a joy to have. He was a happy sweet baby and independant and respectful little boy and has grown into a loving, kind and responsible man and father to his almost 2 children.
I am so grateful to have him in my life.
I remember how excited I was to become a mother at the tender age of 18. He was and is such a joy to have. He was a happy sweet baby and independant and respectful little boy and has grown into a loving, kind and responsible man and father to his almost 2 children. 
