It has been such a year of changes and it's only March! I am learning...and sometimes appreciative of my ever evolving life. Usually in hindsight I have great appreciation and gratitude for the struggle so, my lesson is to learn to be grateful in the midst of being uncomfortable. I am having increasing moments of this but, I have a long way to go and I know there is no perfection only progress.
My partner and I have been working with a professional through some things and working on how to communicate and not only listen to the other but, really hear what is being said while validating feelings even if we don't understand it. Asking the questions to seek understanding -ideally from a place of love is important.
Also, challenging thoughts that might pop up, where did they come from? How do we know these are true thoughts? Is this going to matter 5 years from now. Is this worth losing a relationship over?
Often they are assumptions that we jump to based on our previous experiences we have brought forth. Sometimes from childhood needs that have not been met, we essentially bring our garbage with us and if there has been no insight or release from it, we respond to others based on our unmet needs as children. It is not work that everyone wants to do but, I really do WANT IT ALL. There is no half way with what I want from this life. I want a partner that cannot wait to kiss me, can't keep their hands off me and is also a friend and safe and soft place to fall and I want to be that in return.
We have been working hard and I am so grateful that we are able to be in this better place. Sometimes our counsellor would talk about "getting back to" and my thoughts are that I want to get to a place we've never been, and it feels like we are on our way. There are no perfect partnerships just imperfect people doing their best and having to readjust along the way.
Outside the birds are singing and we are having typical end of March weather. Warm and sunny one day and cold and rain mixed with snow the next. The birds don't seem to mind, they know that despite the snow and cold, it's just the way it is today and they have faith that what they need is coming. They, sing either way, they are pretty smart.
My partner and I have been working with a professional through some things and working on how to communicate and not only listen to the other but, really hear what is being said while validating feelings even if we don't understand it. Asking the questions to seek understanding -ideally from a place of love is important.
Also, challenging thoughts that might pop up, where did they come from? How do we know these are true thoughts? Is this going to matter 5 years from now. Is this worth losing a relationship over?
Often they are assumptions that we jump to based on our previous experiences we have brought forth. Sometimes from childhood needs that have not been met, we essentially bring our garbage with us and if there has been no insight or release from it, we respond to others based on our unmet needs as children. It is not work that everyone wants to do but, I really do WANT IT ALL. There is no half way with what I want from this life. I want a partner that cannot wait to kiss me, can't keep their hands off me and is also a friend and safe and soft place to fall and I want to be that in return.
We have been working hard and I am so grateful that we are able to be in this better place. Sometimes our counsellor would talk about "getting back to" and my thoughts are that I want to get to a place we've never been, and it feels like we are on our way. There are no perfect partnerships just imperfect people doing their best and having to readjust along the way.
Outside the birds are singing and we are having typical end of March weather. Warm and sunny one day and cold and rain mixed with snow the next. The birds don't seem to mind, they know that despite the snow and cold, it's just the way it is today and they have faith that what they need is coming. They, sing either way, they are pretty smart.
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