It has been a whirlwind week for sure. Busy with cleaning this week, all went well. Did lots of work for my lab and study notes. While we were in class yesterday, I was sitting beside my daughter and I reached for something and did not notice that she had an open bottle of pop sitting right beside me(and her computer) and yikes...the computer went for a swim! Funny the reactions. Me? I said "Samantha" and ripped my shirt off(yes I had a T shirt on underneath) and started mopping up the wet(it was only a bit of pop, as I grabbed it quickly, but even a "liitle" is too much). Her friend Anne on the other side of her jumped up to get some napkins, and Sam just sat there and stared at the computer. So her mouse stopped working, and she left it for a few hours, and a few more...we came home and were able to save her work to hotmail, and Will took it apart and lost a piece he needed and now it won't work at all. So he's got to back it up and I'll take it to Future Shop where I bought it(for Christmas for her) to get it fixed up. I have had some car troubles lately, my brake light, my seat belt light, engine light are on all the time, my ABS and washer fluid light go on and off, so clearly I have issues. So Will finally got some time to work on my car, as I had the parts already bought. At the end of yesterday he pronouced it unsafe to drive. It needs more brake parts and work, to the tune of another few hundred dollars I'm sure. So then yesterday I went to see Mom and watch American Idol with her, and she was pretty wheezy and chest rattling when she breaths. So we talked about her going to the doctor some, but I was not about to tell her what to do. I feel it's her responsibilty to tell me what she needs, so after the vote off ,she told me to call 911! She has COPD and has had trouble for years. I know that she is fearful of dying. "A man who lives fully, is prepared to die at any time" Mark Twain. I do not believe my Mom has lived fully. She is not prepared to do the deep work it takes to be honest with herself and anyone else. Yes is is uncomfortable, painful to walk through your past, especially when it has been littered with any kind of abuse or trauma, and sadness. However if one can take that walk, the rewards are a life that is happy joyous and free. I do not want to die tomorrow. I know it would be very hard on my children, husband and family, but I know in death there is only something more and I will be fine, but the ones I leave behind will be left in sorrow. However I am not really scared to die, maybe that is weird, but that is how I feel. I don't think it's pending, as I believe I have much work to yet do here, but if it did I would be ok with it. Anyhow, I went to see Mom today, I thought I was way ahead of the game, and was quickly packing up everything I thought she might need if she stayed, as the sirens grew closer and then the lights, I'm running out to show her her toiletry bag and ask her to take out what she needs. Getting anything I know that I'll be coming back to get, I left her to go in the ambulance, and stayed back to pack the back. I had everything I thoughts she could possibly want. So I left her there last night, once I knew she was stable and staying. I had to work today cleaning and needed to get some rest, then found out later today she was to stay in the hospital for a few days. There is a message on machine to bring her some items that of course I'd packed, but also her walker, stayfree pads and kleenex box. So I parked across the baseball field, maybe almost a km away and wheeled the walker!No heart failure or attacks this time, no pneumonia, just a flare up of her COPD that would need some IV steriods and rest. I stayed for a couple of hours to visit with her, but I hadn't been home other than a bit to wash up after work, so I needed to make the long trek back to my car before it got dark. I will not be able to get back to the hospital tomorrow.I am going to get my 2 girls to go over to her apartment and give it a good dust and vacumn with the Dyson. She's never had under her bed or couch done, and do a good dust. She was talking about hiring Racheal, but The 3 of us can do it in about 20-30 minutes. Our birthday gift to her! We'll be careful to use non-scented, green cleaners so it doesn't set her off. Going to look a the wedding hall while there is a wedding set up there, and it's Will's 41st birthday. Have to get a cake and celebrate my hunny. I have to clean my house and work on that lab too. Due next week. Anyhow...hi ho it's off to bed I go
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