It is a beautiful warm day out, a bit rainy, but we need that for the grass and flowers to grow. So much going on, but I feel the need to write, so write I will then on with the day.
Cleaning is going well, except for the bruises all over my legs. I am banging into stuff, and my knees from scrubbing are all bruised up. Cuts all over my hands..lol...Just 1 left on Friday this week. School tomorrow. I still have to read a chapter and work more on my lab today. I've decided if I am accepted at Trent I will take Sociology which is a full credit and Philosophy which is a 1/2 credit course. The full credit runs May 9-August 3 twice a week and 1/2 credit is done end of June.My sister got back from India and had such a unique experience. It was somewhat overwhelming for her with the constant noise and stimulation. She didn't get great sleep, horns honking all night. Makes you wonder why people are up all night honking horns? She had a wonderful experience at the meditation centre in the mountains and met many beautiful people. The message she seemed to bring back was that she is so grateful for her life, that we have too much. I would have to agree. I posted on her blog that "spiritual growth slows when money flows" and I personally have found that to be true.When I was going through very difficult times at the beginning of my recovery and during the time of my divorce, then I became pregnant, I had to have so much faith that things would work out. When I started to rebuild and gain some success-(which I could have only done by working my 12 steps that helped me to become the person I always wanted to be) it seemed that I was more in control and I wasn't relying on my faith as much. I became busier and busier and spiritual matters seemed to take a back seat at that time. So funny though is that I knew that was happening and I kept thinking I needed to get back to basics, but it's almost like financial success is incompatible with spirituality if that makes any sense? In the back corners of my mind I knew that the time was coming, and I whispered out loud once a year or 2 ago, "God I am grateful for my life, please don't show me that I needed to be humbled", however since my words and actions were not congruent, the time came! I am relying on my faith once again. Kind of like that Carrie Underwood song "Jesus take the wheel". All about surrendering control to your higher power because in the end we really aren't in charge.
So speaking of my "fall from grace" I have heard from many different people in ours and other offices, in the last week that there has been much talk about what has been going on at the place I used to be and nobody is really talking about why my husband and I were both let go within 3 weeks of each other. When questioned by some of our former collegues, the higher ups shut down and refuse to talk about it. There was also much discussion about a collegue from my office who had a relationship with another from another office(they are both married) and I had heard about that while I was there and discussed with my employee, whether true or not I was getting calls my collegues and my boss about it, so I wanted this person to know if was not professional and could damage their reputation if it were true, and if not then what behaviour had caused so much drama? So I can't control what people do in their personal lives, I did not pursue it any further. So 5 or 6 people have gone out of their way to contact me and have mentioned this in the past week, and in addition they "heard" that this "relationship" between the 2 people ended because one of them became involved with a senior manager, which would have been my boss. So they are saying that my employee and my boss were possibly having an intimate-and adulterous relationship. I don't have any proof of this of course, but now as I process this, I can think of many things that have happened in the past year that now I'm going "huh" "is this the reason that he/she asked me this, or responded this way".Things are starting make sense. Additionally why my boss underminded me with my team at every opportunity so this was no last minute decision. As I trained my replacement for "work at another position when it opened" I said a few times I was training my replacment. There was a nice little pact arranged ahead of time which included many people that I put my trust in. Also my employee that allegedly was involved with the higher up would have been very happy to get Will out of the way, and before everything blew up, Will told me this person was overheard tell another employee that "there are going to be lots of changes here before the year ends" and one of them told Will after he was let go, but before I was, they got rid of him to get rid of me. Which to me made/makes no sense since they didn't need to get rid of him to get rid of me, but how would this person know this? When Will told me this, I said that is ridiculous, why would they need to get rid of you first, but when it all happened it's hard to ignore that. I don't have any facts of course, but some things certainly lead me to believe that it's very possible, and honestly what I feel when I think that it's true is disappointment. If it's true and people are telling me what's circulating in the water cooler discussion, I am sure that there is some soap opera drama and way more to what I would know. I`ve never been willing to play the games and compromise my beliefs including looking the other way. Maybe I was a ``complication`` as I would have not thought twice to report anything I knew about, so perhaps it was easiest to get rid of the ``complication``before I became a problem. I think it's possible that they let me go because of my husband. What I really thinking is they had a plan all along, and we made it more difficult then they thought because we adhered to their regulations so diligently . I`ll have to read back through my journaling to see what I`ve written in the months leading up to the termination. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it's address if not already. I am happy to be away from all that drama, and justice will surely be served by the Universe. I need to think about the next right thing I need to do and do it! Peace.
Cleaning is going well, except for the bruises all over my legs. I am banging into stuff, and my knees from scrubbing are all bruised up. Cuts all over my hands..lol...Just 1 left on Friday this week. School tomorrow. I still have to read a chapter and work more on my lab today. I've decided if I am accepted at Trent I will take Sociology which is a full credit and Philosophy which is a 1/2 credit course. The full credit runs May 9-August 3 twice a week and 1/2 credit is done end of June.My sister got back from India and had such a unique experience. It was somewhat overwhelming for her with the constant noise and stimulation. She didn't get great sleep, horns honking all night. Makes you wonder why people are up all night honking horns? She had a wonderful experience at the meditation centre in the mountains and met many beautiful people. The message she seemed to bring back was that she is so grateful for her life, that we have too much. I would have to agree. I posted on her blog that "spiritual growth slows when money flows" and I personally have found that to be true.When I was going through very difficult times at the beginning of my recovery and during the time of my divorce, then I became pregnant, I had to have so much faith that things would work out. When I started to rebuild and gain some success-(which I could have only done by working my 12 steps that helped me to become the person I always wanted to be) it seemed that I was more in control and I wasn't relying on my faith as much. I became busier and busier and spiritual matters seemed to take a back seat at that time. So funny though is that I knew that was happening and I kept thinking I needed to get back to basics, but it's almost like financial success is incompatible with spirituality if that makes any sense? In the back corners of my mind I knew that the time was coming, and I whispered out loud once a year or 2 ago, "God I am grateful for my life, please don't show me that I needed to be humbled", however since my words and actions were not congruent, the time came! I am relying on my faith once again. Kind of like that Carrie Underwood song "Jesus take the wheel". All about surrendering control to your higher power because in the end we really aren't in charge.
So speaking of my "fall from grace" I have heard from many different people in ours and other offices, in the last week that there has been much talk about what has been going on at the place I used to be and nobody is really talking about why my husband and I were both let go within 3 weeks of each other. When questioned by some of our former collegues, the higher ups shut down and refuse to talk about it. There was also much discussion about a collegue from my office who had a relationship with another from another office(they are both married) and I had heard about that while I was there and discussed with my employee, whether true or not I was getting calls my collegues and my boss about it, so I wanted this person to know if was not professional and could damage their reputation if it were true, and if not then what behaviour had caused so much drama? So I can't control what people do in their personal lives, I did not pursue it any further. So 5 or 6 people have gone out of their way to contact me and have mentioned this in the past week, and in addition they "heard" that this "relationship" between the 2 people ended because one of them became involved with a senior manager, which would have been my boss. So they are saying that my employee and my boss were possibly having an intimate-and adulterous relationship. I don't have any proof of this of course, but now as I process this, I can think of many things that have happened in the past year that now I'm going "huh" "is this the reason that he/she asked me this, or responded this way".Things are starting make sense. Additionally why my boss underminded me with my team at every opportunity so this was no last minute decision. As I trained my replacement for "work at another position when it opened" I said a few times I was training my replacment. There was a nice little pact arranged ahead of time which included many people that I put my trust in. Also my employee that allegedly was involved with the higher up would have been very happy to get Will out of the way, and before everything blew up, Will told me this person was overheard tell another employee that "there are going to be lots of changes here before the year ends" and one of them told Will after he was let go, but before I was, they got rid of him to get rid of me. Which to me made/makes no sense since they didn't need to get rid of him to get rid of me, but how would this person know this? When Will told me this, I said that is ridiculous, why would they need to get rid of you first, but when it all happened it's hard to ignore that. I don't have any facts of course, but some things certainly lead me to believe that it's very possible, and honestly what I feel when I think that it's true is disappointment. If it's true and people are telling me what's circulating in the water cooler discussion, I am sure that there is some soap opera drama and way more to what I would know. I`ve never been willing to play the games and compromise my beliefs including looking the other way. Maybe I was a ``complication`` as I would have not thought twice to report anything I knew about, so perhaps it was easiest to get rid of the ``complication``before I became a problem. I think it's possible that they let me go because of my husband. What I really thinking is they had a plan all along, and we made it more difficult then they thought because we adhered to their regulations so diligently . I`ll have to read back through my journaling to see what I`ve written in the months leading up to the termination. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it's address if not already. I am happy to be away from all that drama, and justice will surely be served by the Universe. I need to think about the next right thing I need to do and do it! Peace.
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