Christmas Vacation-December 27, 2011

Another year is coming to a close. It's mind boggling to me that only a year ago our lives were in complete turmoil and it felt as though everything was slipping away. Now a year later my husband is running his own business, and doing quite well, and I've just finished my first semester as a full time student with a 91.3% average. Yes I did work very hard for those marks, it did not come easy, but it was rewarding for sure. I've made some new friends, and learned who my true friends are. There was some disappointment in those I thought were real friendships and learned otherwise, but I'm ok to release those now, and know that some people are only in our lives for a specific reason and timeframe and it's ok to move on from them. There has been way more good than bad that this past year has revealed to me, even though I would never have believed that 11 months ago, it is so. I am exactly where I suppose to be and it feels great. Christmas was wonderful, probably the best I can remember. I had a full week off prior to Christmas, and this week right after Christmas off, and then another week! I have volunteered to help with new student orientation for the January starters, so I go in for training a week from Thursday and I think I'll be ready for it then. Our commerical business is doing well, we've gotten a new client and another one lined up that seems promising, and our schedule is pretty good now, we work 4 weeks on a rotating schedule and then get 2 weeks off. We will be going out to my sister and brother in laws Linda and Mikes place for New Years Eve. I am really looking forward to spending some time there. I miss spending time with my sister, and her son and daughter in law with my 7 month old great niece Laurel (from birth story in May) will be there. I just love her so much, and feel a real connection to her. Much like her father, my nephew Derek. He was always special to me and has an aura about him that draws people to him and she has the same thing. My daughter told me tonight she's looking at doing an international exchange during her 4th year of university, which is about 18 months away, which will be an excellent experience for her. Well more relaxation for me. Worked tonight, but tomorrow I have nothing booked, except maybe reading and movie watching. Life is good...no great!

Week 13-November 28, 2011

Heading into week 13 now. Had over 20 assignments and group projects due, and down to 2! One is pretty much done, few things to do and just waiting for the day to arrive to present to class, and one I've started and will take me most of the week or week-end to finish up, then finals and done. All is going pretty awesome for the most part. Made 1 really good friend that I plan to keep up with and hopefully will settle in with a few more. I am staying in Peterborough tonight at my room rental place. That has worked out pretty well. Only 5 minutes from school and clean and quiet. Prefer when he's on afternoon shift, then I have the place to myself at night, and usually out in the morning before he surfaces. Tonight he has company of some sort, I didn't interupt, as they are watching Toy Story movie I believe, but he'll be long gone when I get up in the morning, so I'll have the place to myself to get ready. Started volunteer at The Denise House, and I love it. Such interesting people. Life is a blessing, I feel so grateful to be where I am in life.

Winds of Change-November 12 2011

I felt the inclination to write a poem about my evolution, so that's my post for now.

Winds of Change

Winds of change

 Blowing in

Changing my thoughts

Leaving me breathless

Hungry for justice

The wind is wild

Stinging my face

Knocking me down

Changing me

With every gust

The wind is calm

The world has changed

In my mind

I walk away

Changed

But still the same

How is the change

Invisible to everyone else

I walk forward

Knowing

That more winds are coming

The change has only

Just begun

Reading week-October 23 2011

Wow 1/2 way through first semester already. It is going so fast, I can hardly believe it. I'm still loving it. I hit a bit of a wall last week, during midterms. I had assignments due, 5 midterms to study for, coming down with a cold, and working the cleaning jobs with Racheal. I am a perfectionist, I'm first to admit it, however I'm also quick to defend it. It's important with any job to leave it the best you can, however I can also admit, I'm a bit tactless sometimes. In my effort to be efficient I think, I get right to the point and sometimes what I mean to say, doesn't come out the same way, and I thinking my hard working daughter was also overtired and senstive that night, but anyhow she felt like I was implying she doesn't know what she's doing and snapped at me while I was trying to see if the streak on the door was on my side that I'd cleaned or her side she was wiping. Anyhow, she knew in the morning she overreacted and apologized, but I cried all the way home, and then even the next day I was weepy over the slightest thing. I think I've had so many people I've trusted turn on me in the past year, that it felt like one of the few I have left, turned also, and I know that isn't the case, but in all my stress and exhaustion I was a mess! You know how that one thing that is the last straw that pushes you ALL the way over the edge.
Anyhow, the week went fine, my midterms good. My one I was worried about, Social Welfare I got 80% on, and Aboriginal History, which I figured I did well on I got 96% on, and the others I haven't heard yet, but it should be fine. My computer one I think was 86%, waiting on a few assignments and test marks still. Going to get a few assignments started and hopefully finished this week while I'm off and take some down time as well, to refresh and recharge for the next 7 weeks. I've started volunteer work at Denise House, the women's shelter, still in training but very excited to start. Everyone seems good. I had Justin and the kids in today, and Racheal and Brian in for a bit, Tyler is here now, he comes by every Sunday to watch Dexter, which I love. Sam has her internist appointment on Tuesday, so we'll see where that is at, but she is feeling a bit better. She had a "booster" for her immune system at the naturopath yesterday and seems dedicated to eating healthy and taking her vitamins, working out. Tyler's stitches seem to be healing from his unfortunate toilet bowl shard in the foot8 stitches later injury. As I inch toward my 50's I'm hoping my life will be settled by then and I'll be living the passion job.

Super Sunday-October 2, 2011

October is here! This month brings cold weather and beautiful colours, Hallowe'en, the time change and my birthday, I will be 48. Funny inside I still feel 20. Sometimes it surprises me that someone thinks I'm faculty at college. I'm thinking I'm actually "one of the kids". Got 100% on my counselling skills test and 100% on my power privledge and oppression pop quiz this week. I've been put into groups projects and I have 2 groups I'm a bit worried about working in, one is all guys and I'm already feeling like I'm running the show, doing the work. The other has a very immature young lady in it that from what I've seen is not loving the academic side of school. However I suppose it's all part of the experience, learning how to work with all kinds. I spent about 10 hours doing school work yesterday, and today I will be getting back to it, but for now, I'm sitting in front of the fire, having a coffee and relaxing for now.

Living the Dream-September 25, 2011

Wow how is it possible that a month has gone by? It's been pretty hectic, but I have to say I am love love loving it! I feel like I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be finally! I've heard it said that when you're living your authentic life you know it, and now I know how that feels. The strike came and went and for 2 weeks it was a bit inconvenient, hiking over 1 km to school with 40lbs on my back, or getting up at 5 to go to school to beat the picket line, but it never bothered me to the point that I felt anything but gratitude to be there. Now the strike is settled and I've got my first 2 assignments done, a quiz done and a test this week. So much work, way more than I expected, but I'm going to plow through it. I've signed up for every organization tool I can and I'm expecting big things from myself, I hope I don't disappoint me! I am going to start volunteering at Denise House in Oshawa. A shelter for abused women. Kids are doing well for the most part, and Racheal, Sammi and I are moving ahead with our business. Racheal and I are doing sales every other Thursday and I'm keeping Angelas cleaning for the off Thursdays, and I'm trying to do my monthly cleaning job, but move it to a Saturday, since I don't have any days left. My son Tyler (23) is in school doing his trade schooling right now, and I think it's a bit of a haul driving into Toronto, with the rush hour traffic, but I'm happy he's pursuing something he's interested in. Justin is back in his house now for nearly 2 months, and the kids seem so much better, much more relaxed and well adjusted. He's taught himself guitar, and piano again, and has his place cleaned and painted. The others are just busy with school and work. Samantha has been struggling with this illness for a while. She's had the fatigue for 2 years now, and they found that she does have Epstein Barr virus, which is a mono type virus responsible for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and her bloodwork is a bit wonky, so she has to see an internist and we'll continue with the naturopath. Just waiting on the allergy tests to come back now, and a few prayers as well. She's had a rough time of it lately. Had a visit with Mom today and she seems ok, no worse at least. We had a nice visit anyhow. I am making an effort to live in the moment, each day. I know this time will fly by.

Passion found and real-August 22, 2011

Well I got the word today that I was approved for funding and am going to be attending Fleming College as a full time student this Sept, like 2 weeks! Isn't it amazing how things work out. From the early blogs I had not a clue what I was going to do, and now to be standing at this what feels like a whole new life, is so amazing to me. I am so grateful that God knows what I need, better than I know, otherwise I'd be still at the same place, being stressed and absent and not feeling like I was either valued for what I did or that I was adding value to the bigger world as much as I desire. I will continue to blog through my journey, however I may change the name of my blog, and possibly let me family(other than my sister and a chosen trusted few that I thought needed to read something specific) in on it. My heart feels so full today, and I hope that I can go on to use this opportunity to give back and be a change maker.