Canada Day is a significant day for me. It is of course the birthday of our country. My husband and I got married 11 years ago tomorrow on Canada Day, my nephew's birthday is July 1, and my father passed away 12 years ago tomorrow. Sometimes it feels like yesterday that Dad died, and in other ways it seems like a lifetime. So much has happened that he hasn't physically been here for. He missed his last grandsons first steps, first hockey game, first day of school, 11 Christmas' mornings, his grandchildrens weddings, births of their children, my great rise and fall in the business world, growing old with my Mother, having his son live close to home for the first time in his adult life, to see his daughter who struggled with academics all through grade school go on to University and hopefully College, to see his other daughter travel the world so fearlessly. He would have loved to see how close our family is, that I was with Derek and Jenna when Laurel was born, that his daughters are taking a trip together and how close and dedicated the kids are to each other and to me. All the growing and changing that has gone on for the past 12 years has been so great in our family. I know he's been with us, but feeling him just isn't the same as seeing him, talking to him. He was the one person that I really felt looked at the world with objective eyes, at least the last few years of his life. Those were our best years with him for sure. I know he would be the voice of reason when I'm at loose ends, or even when I'm looking to bounce something off someone who just had the gift of listening. My husband reminds me a bit of him, he's got alot of patience at his disposal and I give him a run for his money sometimes, but he rarely loses patience with me, and is a good listener. Tomorrow I will know that the breeze hitting my face is my Dad coming by to say "I'm right here, just like I always have been" and I will enjoy my day celebrating this glorious country we have the privledge to live in, feeling gratitude for this beautiful life with all it's pain and joy, it's abundance and choice, and the gift of family and friends that I am blessed to have. Knowing that everything is exactly as it is suppose to be, just like it always has been. I don't always get what I want, but I always get what I need.
1 comment:
What a beautiful post Sandy. You should have warned me that I would need a box of kleenex close at hand. Yes - I often think of the moments with my own children and grandchildren and remember how much joy he experienced with them. Happy Canada Sister!
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